英文好的來幫幫忙

看了這篇文章後, 終於重拾了我在LLM被摧殘殆盡的英文自信; 不論壓力大於等於或小於我的, 都來看看笑話輕鬆一下吧!

老爸的英文情書......摘自"台灣日報"

老爸一直以把到有校花美稱的老媽而自豪, 但每次講到擄獲老媽芳心的致勝關鍵--一封英文情書, 老媽總是笑到前俯後仰; 經過我們再三催逼, 老媽終於拿出老爸當年寫給她的情書, 看了真是......Oh! My god! 很有一套喔!

哇哈哈哈哈!! 沒有高手翻譯, 普通人是不會看得懂的啦! 全文如下:

Dear Wang little sister: 親愛的王小姐:

From see you one eye, I s.h.i.t love you. 自從看到你的第一眼, 我便愛上了你.
Your eyes close, I die; your eyes open, I come back to live. 你的眼睛閉上, 我就死了; 你的眼睛打開, 我又活了過來.
Your eyes close and open again and again, then I die and live again and again. 你的眼睛眨呀眨的, 我就死去活來.
Maybe you don't remember me, no matter. 也許你不記得我, 沒有關係.
When you carefully look at me , you will one see clock love me. 當你仔細看著我, 你就會一見鍾情愛上我.
I think I should introduce myself to you. 我想應該先向你介紹我自己.
I call Lee, Big-Great, toyear 25. 我叫李大偉, 今年25歲(既然今天是today, 那今年就是toyear囉! 名字的"偉"就翻成Great吧).
My home have four month people--Papa, Mama, me and DD. 我家有四口人, 爸爸, 媽媽, 我和弟弟.
I am a good man, in a big compay work. 我是個好男人, 在一家大公司上班.
I do early f.u.c.k everyday, so that I can have strong body to portect you. 我每天都做早操, 這樣就有強壯的身體來保護你.
Please come to eat and sleep with me, or I will cut my hair to be a monk, and find a place where many monks live in to over my life. 請嫁給我吧! 否則我就削髮為僧, 找間廟出家來了此一生(實在想不起"嫁"的英文是什麼, 好在頭腦靈光, 嫁過來不就是吃住都和我一起嘛; "廟"這個字沒學過, 但是很多和尚住一起的地方就是廟了).
Like your people. 喜歡你的人.

嗯, 今天學到新片語, 原來做早操的英文是"do early f.u.c.k"......汗

[ 本帖最後由 castor0907 於 2007-2-10 04:40 AM 編輯 ]