【轉貼】笑話分享 2005.5.18

1. 狡辯

某生上課時睡覺，被老師發現。
     師：你為甚麼在上課時睡覺？
     生：我沒睡覺哇！
     師：那你為甚麼閉上眼睛？
     生：我在閉目沉思！
     師：那你為甚麼直點頭？
     生：您剛才講得很有道理！
     師：那你為甚麼直流口水？
     生：老師您講得很棒，我聽得津津有味！

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2. 紀念冊

某個小學即將畢業，老師發放畢業紀念冊。 小明就問：這畢業紀念冊有什麼用呢？老師回答：想想看，二十年後你們再翻這本書時，會說「啊，這是小華，現在已經是董事長了，這是小美，真想不到她會作院長夫人，…」這時台下忽然傳來一句：「啊... 這是老師，他現在已經...嗚... 」

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3. 作弊

老師發表成績:
        "小華三十分、小明二十分……”
小豬: 我考 O 分耶!
小狗: 怎麼辦, 我也是耶…
小豬: 我們兩個考同分, 老師會不會以為我們作弊啊?

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4. 丟鐘

某大某系有間教室，裡面的掛鐘有問題，只要被東西敲到就會愈走愈快，敲到一次就快五分鐘。某日某教授上課便發現同學們每次都趁他寫黑板時，用板擦卯起來丟掛鐘，但教授卻不聲張，依舊照鐘上下課。不數日，期末考到了，大伙兒皆埋頭苦幹，此時只見教授拿個板擦在那兒練習丟鐘…

from http://www.science-jokes.refleksje.pl/2_10.html
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What is the subatomic particle babe? A gravitron, because she is so attractive.
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Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who askes: "Do you know how fast
you were going?"
Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I am"
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I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost...
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Q: How does Santa deliver presents all over the world on Christmas Eve?
A: With Rudolf the red-shift reindeer.
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From me :D

Conversaton between two ordinary people:
A: What's the matter?
B: Nothing.

Conversation between two quantum physicists:
A: What's the matter?
B: Anti-matter.

哇 JC你連英文的冷笑話都看喔
下次還是少跟你說笑話 怕被你冷到 ^^

I heard one from my friend, and I think it's really useful for daily life ^^

How would you encourage your teammate when you two encounter a problem?
Here's one:
A: "You know what a cheek of ass says to the other?"
A: "Maybe we should ask like ass cheecks...."
B: "What?!"
A: "One cheek would say to the other: WE CAN PULL TOGETHER AND STOP THE SHxT!"

^^

不錯喔, biology 冷笑話 heheh

Here's one from http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/4.html

Question: What did the Smooth Endoplasmic Reticulum say the the Rough Endoplasmic Reticulum?

Answer: Is that Ribosome on you or are you happy to see me?